Allergy safe cooking

When starting this blog it was meant just as a personal journal hoping to help others along the way too. Whilst that is still my main focus it has made me realise just how much of my life I need to learn about.

My twins for example are allergic to dairy, caseins and soy and gluten intolerant and we have been advised to go gluten free because of our daughter who has aspergers.

So I went and bought lots of allergy safe books and borrowed a heap from the library too. What did I discover? While one may have a great dairy free recipe it contains soy or gluten, another page will have a fantastic gluten free recipe but stacks of cheese or cream. I am yet to find a book that is a complete allergy safe book so my mission is to create or recreate recipes and make them allergy safe, no diary, no caseins, no gluten, optional nuts, no soy for the most part no eggs. Nobody here is allergic or eggs but at the moment I can't eat them but it will be helpful for others like me who are looking for allergy safe foods that cover all the common allergies.

I will always be looking for new suggestions or if you have a recipe you'd like me to share let me know

84 days to declutter

It may sound like a long time, 84 days to achieve a clean house but I'm not doing your average clean. I am on a massive decluttering mission.

One room or area a week for 12 weeks to try find some balance within the house (and make a bit more room for surprise baby!) 

With the challenge accepted now we have to organize our weeks.

Week One: Living Room - includes under couches, DVD cupboard, sorting video games that don't get played anymore, fish tank accessories that don't get used, windows, curtains and anything else that I see during that week.

Week Two: Dining Area - includes cupboards, drawers, anything on or under the table, windows, curtains, walls and everything else that needs to be dealt with.

Week Three: Kitchen - includes cupboards, any appliances that don't get used can be donated, bench tops, walls, window, pantry, clean out the fridge and freezer and everything else in between.

Week Four: Hall - includes cupboards and drawers, linen closet (donate all unused towels and sheets), walls and the toys my kids like to leave lying around.

Week Five: Laundry - get on top of all the unwashed clothing, sort the cupboard, make sure there is nothing in there that shouldn't be.

Week Six: Bathroom - get rid of all cosmetics, bubble baths, soaps etc that are either out of date or haven't been used for a while, install new mirror if I haven't nagged hubby to do it earlier.

Week Seven: Girls Room - set up 3 areas (Sell, Donate, Trash) whatever they don't want or don't play with gets put into an area, drawers, wardrobe, under beds and who knows what else they have stashed in there!

Week Eight: Boys Room - set up the same 3 areas as I did for the girls and sell, donate or throw away. Sort the wardrobes, under the beds and I dare say the boys have more hiding spots that the girls to organise!

Week Nine: Main Bedroom - includes under the bed, tall boy and wardrobe, unused clothes and all the things that have been stored in my room for whatever reason.

Week Ten: Garage - all unpacked boxes from when we moved, old cots, shoes, craft items and who actually knows what else is in there, I think most of this will be going to the tip if it's not sentimental to us since we moved almost 2 years ago. I won't need the cots as we will be co sleeping.

Week Eleven: Garden Shed - which is looking quite similar to the garage so the same principals apply here too.

Week Twelve: All Outdoor Areas - sort out outdoor toys, throw out dead plants (which seems to happen to everything I try grow in the garden!), tidy up all the living things in the garden.

At the end of the 12 weeks all the things in the selling boxes will be part of a garage sale and whatever doesn't sell from that will be donated to charity or appropriate places.

Week one starts tomorrow! 

A rainbow in the storm

I always wanted to have 3 children, I looked at people with a whole tribe and thought they were insane and/or stupid. I dreamed of giving my kids everything they ever wanted living a luxurious life like you see in the magazines, a pool out the back, a fancy car, expensive holidays, nice big house with expensive furniture.

What have I got? 6 children (2 are in heaven, 4 are here on earth), a small rented 3 bedroom house, mostly second hand furniture, a car that fits us all in and gets us from a to b (just!), no holidays, no pool and a disaster zone for a house, certainly not magazine worthy more like embarrassed to have guests over!

Lately my depression has spiralled and spiralled fast and hard, I've turned into a monster, screaming at my kids all the time, pushing my husband away. Everyday I tell myself tomorrow will be better, I won't yell, I'll make them feel loved but I wake up and it's the same old thing. My kids will no doubt need therapy later in life to get over how horrible I am.

I never usually tell people how bad it is because I'm afraid, I know I'm mean, I know I say things I regret and really shouldn't, I know I snap without any warning signs that I can see, I regret every single thing I say and do, can I help it? No.

It sounds like a cop out I know, oh but I couldn't help it. I literally see no warning signs though no time to walk away and take a breather, I go from completely calm to snap instantly and I can tell you right now it is terrifying.

But what's more terrifying? The fact that we are expecting another baby!

We are approximately 8-9 weeks along, to be honest I really believe this baby is going to save me, help me become a better person. Yes we are going to be cramming 7 people into a 3 bedroom house, luckily our car has 8 seats, it will make money tighter but thankfully we cloth diaper, breastfeed, cosleep and babywear so don't need a lot for a baby just love which we have (or learning to have again).

So another baby may not be ideal but it is happening and I really, truly believe it is a blessing. Due to our losses we are keeping this hush from family for a little while until we have had ultrasounds to put our minds at ease.

New year, new me ....

It's almost lame the amount of people who make New Years resolutions and stick to them for a week.

Well my new year doesn't start January 1st like everybody else. My new year starts January 21st, my 27th birthday (yikes 27 already!) so what will is new year bring? Hard work is what, I expect no magic wands, I expect sweat, tears maybe even blood and most of all a clearer headspace.

Here are my goals and expectations of myself in this new year.

- I will not drink alcohol AT ALL this year (I've been self medicating with alcohol far too much lately)

- I will exercise at least 5 times a week

- I will go for a walk every morning with my dog and children

- I will do a meal plan every fortnight and I will stick to it!

- I will make my kids school snacks so I know they are healthy

- I will get a new mental health plan written up

- I will start seeing a counsellor again

These are just a few I have many more goals to organise my life (I am determined to because the happy, organised housewife and mother!) 

When my husband was working in Queensland I used to walk with the kids every morning, we would walk a 2.5 km circuit and try and beat our time everyday, we made it fun. It was tiring, some days it was too hot and you'd get half way and wonder why you did it, the twins are heavy to push in the stroller but the feeling when you get home sweaty and motivated for your day.

I look at myself now, so unmotivated, living in a mess, a screaming banshee (I'd be surprised if the neighbours aren't at all concerned for my kids some days!) I don't want to be like that, I don't want the kids running for cover if I get frustrated, it's not fair to them, it's not fair on anybody. It will end!

New year, new me .... That's a promise! I know it won't be easy, there will be times where I'll give in to temptation nobody is perfect but I will learn from those mistakes and I will become a better person.

2014/aged 27 - my year to shine.

Food diary

One of my favourite motivational people is Michelle Bridges and I've signed up for her 12wbt the round starts in 2014 and we have a few pre season tasks to do, one of which is for the entire week write down everything that enters our mouth, it should be confronting, eye opening and life changing.

Signing up for the 12 WBT is going to be great, like minded people all with a goal. Bring it on! 

Why is food so important in this transformation of our lives?

Food is vital for the changes in our families life because as you all know I am battling bi-polar without medication so food plays a very important part, the healthier the food the better I seem to be.

My twins who are 2 also have dairy, soy and casein allergies which makes shopping, cooking and finding recipes a challenge.

My 5 year old daughter who is borderline aspergers but has to be reassessed once she starts school and a lot of foods she reacts to, the more gluten she consumes the more meltdowns she has so we have now eliminated gluten as well.

Not only does this now seem a very costly venture but a frustrating one too.  There are so. Many books out there for nut free cooking or egg free or dairy free but nothing that is  a complete package, I'll find one recipe that is dairy, casein and gluten free but will contain soy and I don't know a substitute.

School lunches are what seems to be another struggle, along with the lack of time factor I am struggling to find suitable school snacks as they also need to be nut free to follow school policy.

So school snacks need to be nut, dairy, casein, gluten AND soy free, I know the twins aren't yet in school so the soy and dairy isn't a must BUT I do want to be able to make snacks that the whole family can eat and not have to worry.

Pregnant at 15

It has been a while since I told the story of how I conceived my first child, time for the next installment of how my life fell apart. Excuse me if this post seems rushed, I have my 2 year old twins climbing all over me like I'm the latest climbing frame.
Hiding the bump from my parents was pretty easy, I never got that big and my school jumper concealed it nicely, I was too scared to tell them. I had seen how much they had downgraded and ridiculed two of my cousins who had babies at 16, they would never accept this. They wouldn't even believe I was raped if I told them, the only person they believe is my sister. 

My mother lost all my trust when at 12 years old she made me do a pregnancy test and called me a tramp whilst I cried and begged and pleaded for her to believe me that I was a virgin, I hadn't ever had a period even. I'd never even kissed a boy but had a boyfriend at school, the most we did was play chasey!
I never once got an apology for that and lost all respect and trust for her which to this day is still absent.

Back on track even if they did believe me about the rape I didn't want to tell them, I was still ashamed and didn't want to relive that moment ever again. So I decided not to, if you ignore things they go away don't they?
Obviously I was wrong with that logic they don't go away but I did my very best to ignore it. The year before all of this my parents had decided to move to Australia, we had been accepted, in June our house sold and tickets were booked to leave the UK in August 2002. I would be 11 weeks pregnant, still silently hoping to miscarry, still secretly thinking this baby maybe good though, somebody to actually love me.
D and his mum had made plans to come over and see me after I moved, the only thing keeping me sane, I didn't want to move half way around the world.
Once we got here my dad wanted all these photos to send back/brag to family back in the UK, I had the smallest of bumps but to me it looked huge, I refused to take my jumper off and fake this Australia is so hot even in winter deception  he wanted me to play a part of.
Apart from a small bump forming I had a very easy pregnancy so far, D was coming with his mum from October 6 2002 to December 9 2002.
When D came over I stayed with them in the motel most of the time, my parents hated it which made me love it even more. When D got here I was 21 weeks pregnant, I'd had one scan in the UK which D's mum took me to but since arriving here I had no prenatal care at all, I was scared, I was alone here. It was so nice being in that motel not feeling swamped in clothes to hide the bump, I could allow myself to put my hand on my belly when my baby kicked, talk to him/her, plan things. D's mum was going to help me get a house with an organisation that helps young parents. 

November 5th 25 weeks and 1 day pregnant, I didn't feel very well. I was dizzy and vomiting, D's mum wanted to take me to the Dr. I told her I would lie down and if in an hour I till felt like this then I would. She ended up letting me sleep much longer. I woke up at 11.30pm, I thought Id wet the bed. I stumbled out of bed trying not to wake up D, I flicked the lamp on and what I saw was like something out of a murder movie. I was covered in blood, the bed, D since he was asleep in the bed.  

I screamed, I froze, woke everybody up. D's mum called an ambulance and it felt like forever until they arrived, really it was only around 10 minutes.

It was around midnight when we got to the hospital on November 6th. 

They spoke to me quickly and it was decided that I'd have an emergency c-section even though the bleeding had almost stopped but because it was so heavy they wanted to take no risks as they thought my placenta was coming away which could be fatal for me as well as the baby! as I was being prepped for surgery I felt a huge urge to push! I'd been mildly contracting but not anything that really stopped me in my tracks though I was blocking everything due to the fear so perhaps I just missed the pain, since the rape I'd become good at blocking reality out.

Just 2 pushes later and a little baby boy was born, he was rushed immediately away. 2 hours later I was allowed to see him, so tiny. The drs wanted to talk to me, despite the tremendous efforts they were putting in his body was shutting down they advised it would be best to take him off the machines and let him pass peacefully rather than prolong what seemed to be the inevitable.

It was the hardest thing I've ever had to decide and if I hadve been this age I would probably have fighted but being 15 I wasn't mature enough for this kind of decision. The social worker was also with them and briefly spoke to me.

At 4.17am his machines were turned off and at 4.21am he grew his wings. I'm glad I got to hold him as he passed, I just wish I had have held him longer. I only have one photograph of him that D's mum took, at the time I didn't see why I'd want photos, why would I want to remember this?

Anthony James

Born November 6th 2002 at 12.47am

Weight: 1lb 1oz

His length was never recorded to my knowledge 

Passed away November 6th 2002 at 4.21am

I would like to thank the staff and the dr who came in when it was only the early hours of the morning to discuss this with me on his day off, his daughter was a rape victim and a teen mother so his words were the kindest most supportive I have heard.