Recently my husband and I seperated. I went through a week of feeling sorry for myself. My medication got increased, my therapy sessions got increased and you know what I learnt?
It wasn't all his fault!
I blamed him, he barely lifts a finger around the house, can have a short fuse, gets frustrated and petty things, is hard to live with being so old fashioned (very anti Internet)
But as I got talking, cry (mainly crying) and venting I had one of those light bulb moments. My medication really hasn't been helping me at all. My bipolar and borderline personality disorder are still way out of control. This was the main reason he left. Not to be an ass about it I realise now but he hated what he was seeing and we both needed time to reflect.
Anyway it's been about 3 weeks since that happened. Last night he stayed the night. We talked and talked. I realised I love him more than I can describe. He's not perfect, he can be an ass, he is a little controlling but he is a good guy.
I'll cop a lot of abuse from friends and family over the decision to try and save my marriage and provide a family for my children. Everybody only sees the bad, they don't notice the nights he sits up rubbing someone's sore head or the food he puts on the table.
It's not going to be perfect, name one relationship that is?
We BOTH need to change and work on things, most of all we have lost how to communicate with each other respectfully, we are both in the wrong for this.
We made a vow and I want to honor that.