Thursday, 18 June 2015

Dear inlaws

Dear inlaws,
I have done nothing but love your son/brother through more than our fair share of thick and thin.
We have dealt with addiction, violence, him losing job after job, spending our savings on drugs, losing his license multiple times. We have lost 9 pregnancies together, had premature babies, had diagnosis of autism, allergies, asthma, dyslexia and anxiety in our children. I've been diagnosed with a handful of things too. We have had our fair share of rough. But I have been there, he has been there. We have done it together. Yet you still won't give me the time of day.
I have tried and tried to get the family to accept me. I have tried so hard to get you to like me. I have given family members food when they've had none, money, jobs even. None of it appreciated.
I have had my words twisted, false accusations and even my kids told what a horrible person I am.
Somebody sees a Facebook post mentioning family it's spread around like wildfire that it's about one of you. I do have a family I belonged to long before you, belong is the wrong word I know, I've never belonged here.

I've kept secrets for you, I've helped when you've had nowhere to turn, offered a place to sleep when you've had nowhere to stay. Still I'm the bad one.

I don't know what to do anymore to have your acceptance, I've never done a thing wrong. There are 2 sides to every story, the amount of abusive phone calls, messages and comments I have recieved is beyond ridiculous. The majority of these come from people jumping to conclusions or not knowing the full story.

I am done trying. I feel sad that my children miss out on aunties and uncles and cousins because of this. I cannot try any harder. Each and every time I do I end up hurt, an argument ends up taking place, people get put in the middle. Just because I am looking for things for a sister in law doesn't mean it's about any of you. My biological sisters husband has a sister and it was in fact about her but nobody took the time to ask before assumptions were made and shots fired in my direction.

So now I have had my say and you'll probably all laugh and talk behind my back as per usual, I will move on with my life. I hoped that one day everybody could come together as a family but it is a two way street, I am exhausted from trying.
From Nicole


  1. Great post, Nicole. Sorry you are dealing with this. At some point in our lives we all have to learn we can't set ourselves on fire to keep someone else warm.

    1. Thank you Andrea and you're right. It's time to let go, I have tried for 9 long years.

  2. I had this whole note typed up but lost it because I wasn't signed in.

    Keep being the fabulous woman you are Nikkie. If they come around one day, great! If not, it's their loss.

    I love you and value our friendship. You're the real deal. They're lucky I'm on the other side of the world cause I'd love to give them a piece of my mind!