Friday, 19 June 2015

Dear Miss C

Dear Miss C, I want to apologize firstly, I am sorry I am such a bad mum, I am sorry I depend on you so much to help me do things. I do get angry a lot because I ask for simple things and they get ignored like putting the toys away your were playing with and a week later I am still looking at them. I wrote job lists up for everyone to try and make things easier but nobody follows them and wonders why I am yelling that the house is such a mess. 6 people live here, it should not be just me that cleans. Yes I know you are just a child but a child must learn responsibilities and learn that there are things in life we must do that we do not enjoy. Dad hates being away from us working all the time but he does it for us, if we can all work as a team inside the house by getting things done we will have more time for movies and playing and doing crafts together. Things won't be as rushed and you will never have lost uniform and the mad Sunday rush to get ready for school. We have spoken about this many, many times so I thought it I write it all down when you're sad that I've got angry and been mean then you can read this to remind yourself why I get angry and also to remind yourself that no matter what I say I DO love you and ALWAYS will. I want to be a happy family, I want to be able to play monopoly and things without having to have to clean the table first, I want it so that things are already done, we can just play, wouldn't you like that too? I'm not saying in all of this that you don't help because you do, you are a big help and I don't know what I'd do without you but I just want us to come together and start working as a team, not against each other. I've bought you (all you kids) a book, it's called my happy sad mummy. Remember when I told you that I am sick but not a sickness you can see? I have what is called bipolar and borderline personality disorder and it is something wrong in my brain that makes me the way that I am, I do not like it and am trying to get it so I can manage it and feel better but it takes time and lots and lots of help from those around me. I love you little miss chicken legs, never ever forget that, even when I am angry and say things I do not mean, I love you more than words can describe. Love from mummy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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